The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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