Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
