do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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