How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
