You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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