Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You ruined the universe
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
