I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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