So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
im on a boat
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