He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Randomize
