I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
