their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
