If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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