but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
