Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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