I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
