At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize