You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
