I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize