dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
