She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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