using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
