This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
