That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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