she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
