Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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