I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
