His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
