I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
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I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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