I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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