What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
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I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
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You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage