Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.

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  (410): I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night. http://tfl.nu/l8h9
  Replies (14) Good night (2147) Bad night (621)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...

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  (724): i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it... http://tfl.nu/6i0l
  Replies (12) Good night (1237) Bad night (3824)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Man, jail baloney is awful.

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  (516): Man, jail baloney is awful. http://tfl.nu/9ubn
  Replies (33) Good night (1097) Bad night (4115)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?

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  (312): Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight? http://tfl.nu/82ga
  Replies (3) Good night (1431) Bad night (1584)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me

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  (775): I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me http://tfl.nu/i130
  Replies (12) Good night (1565) Bad night (851)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...

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  (859): This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk... http://tfl.nu/39pj
  Replies (8) Good night (1714) Bad night (698)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.

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  (509): Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life. http://tfl.nu/zh07
  Replies (6) Good night (1594) Bad night (730)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.

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  (713): Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga. http://tfl.nu/fdid
  Replies (12) Good night (975) Bad night (2015)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness

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  (815): Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness http://tfl.nu/w2dw
  Replies (2) Good night (1349) Bad night (1000)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way

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  (416): Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again? (416): I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way http://tfl.nu/h01t
  Replies (4) Good night (725) Bad night (1099)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie

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  (717): Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie http://tfl.nu/cc1l
  Replies (5) Good night (1404) Bad night (359)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  So many things can go wrong tonight.

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  (770): So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun? (404): So many things can go wrong tonight. http://tfl.nu/anjg
  Replies (3) Good night (1285) Bad night (375)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.

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  (928): He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart. http://tfl.nu/tciz
  Replies (4) Good night (1267) Bad night (321)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back

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  (903): Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back http://tfl.nu/kstn
  Replies (3) Good night (569) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?

  (1-504): View more from Louisiana

  That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?

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  (504): Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up? (1-504): That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies? http://tfl.nu/79n3
  Replies (1) Good night (829) Bad night (297)

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