Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
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OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
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I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least