cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend