Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.