do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
