Texts From Last Night

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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand

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  (978): During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand http://tfl.nu/wt71
  Replies (35) Good night (4247) Bad night (1512)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.

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  (440): It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm. http://tfl.nu/s4sh
  Replies (9) Good night (2848) Bad night (760)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place

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  (843): the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place http://tfl.nu/6i8c
  Replies (16) Good night (5869) Bad night (868)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?

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  (740): its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt? http://tfl.nu/t83k
  Replies (10) Good night (3556) Bad night (978)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.

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  (313): We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn. http://tfl.nu/k4mq
  Replies (28) Good night (1505) Bad night (3413)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!

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  (740): Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE! http://tfl.nu/i7pp
  Replies (14) Good night (4547) Bad night (962)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.

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  (203): My vagina is depressed thinking about her future. http://tfl.nu/t288
  Replies (11) Good night (856) Bad night (2297)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?

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  (410): So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right? http://tfl.nu/zwo3
  Replies (15) Good night (2878) Bad night (1226)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....

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  (316): Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips.... http://tfl.nu/9ril
  Replies (3) Good night (1234) Bad night (678)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet

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  (480): We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet http://tfl.nu/q54w
  Replies (5) Good night (1589) Bad night (522)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.

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  (520): Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this. http://tfl.nu/0jj8
  Replies (8) Good night (874) Bad night (1679)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".

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  (443): He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp". http://tfl.nu/ico5
  Replies (4) Good night (1819) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?

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  (734): The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low? http://tfl.nu/9f5e
  Replies (4) Good night (558) Bad night (245)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.

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  (403): Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me. http://tfl.nu/p2to
  Replies (1) Good night (273) Bad night (423)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!

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  (970): It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood! http://tfl.nu/nce0
  Replies (1) Good night (478) Bad night (203)

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