Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  You work out of a Hotel?

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  (818): You work out of a Hotel? http://tfl.nu/4k8s
  Replies (3) Good night (577) Bad night (821)
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  (415): View more from California

  No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."

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  (415): No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love." http://tfl.nu/xky8
  Replies (91) Good night (4601) Bad night (1302)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out

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  (205): soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out http://tfl.nu/q1wd
  Replies (15) Good night (5308) Bad night (838)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside

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  (724): I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside http://tfl.nu/gfts
  Replies (23) Good night (1255) Bad night (4357)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.

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  (740): well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong. http://tfl.nu/972k
  Replies (12) Good night (4591) Bad night (919)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes

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  (509): Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes http://tfl.nu/fkbb
  Replies (1) Good night (1180) Bad night (731)
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  (707): View more from California

  Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...

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  (707): Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost... http://tfl.nu/dlrx
  Replies (1) Good night (1097) Bad night (1037)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.

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  (240): Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood. http://tfl.nu/tqto
  Replies (3) Good night (1090) Bad night (506)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.

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  (580): the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that. http://tfl.nu/mchf
  Replies (14) Good night (2315) Bad night (921)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.

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  (605): Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life. http://tfl.nu/vnig
  Replies (1) Good night (472) Bad night (1082)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I learned so much about myself in that shower.

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  (517): I learned so much about myself in that shower. http://tfl.nu/jhiq
  Replies (7) Good night (991) Bad night (408)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.

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  (406): You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock. http://tfl.nu/e7xz
  Replies (8) Good night (978) Bad night (465)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.

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  (617): We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this. http://tfl.nu/dyzt
  Replies (8) Good night (1244) Bad night (507)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.

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  (515): I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion. http://tfl.nu/z0x4
  Replies (2) Good night (835) Bad night (318)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.

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  (713): The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time. http://tfl.nu/2jw5
  Replies (3) Good night (662) Bad night (339)

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