Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
