I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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