woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
