So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
