i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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