worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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