That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
