Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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