In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
