it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
