so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
