I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize