She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
