i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
