FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
