3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Randomize
