i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
just found out that she named her cat after me.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
