Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize