Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
