we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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