I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
