is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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