she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
