is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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