when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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