I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
