I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
