if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize