What a fucking waste of an outfit
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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