Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
