You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
