We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
