We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
