pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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