I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
