Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Dick very happy bro
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
