Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
